People Are Horrible: 26 Medieval Torture Devices That Suck

While medieval torture devices were no fun on the receiving end, it can be morbidly entertaining to read about them from the comforts of home. Strap yourselves in, because this ride gets painful, fast!

To be sure, there’s nothing awesome about torture. But there’s a certain grotesque ingenuity inherent to many of the most horrifying medieval torture methods. 

Not only could they cause pain, but they often played on psychological fears, showing that even in the dark ages, the study of the mind was alive and well. It was merely being horribly misused to manipulate accused witches and dissenters against the church into confessing to crimes against God they didn’t commit.

Pear of Anguish

So, what is the pear of anguish? Particularly hideous, this simple mechanical torture device would be placed inside the orifice of a person and then gradually expanded. The kindest use was in a person’s mouth where it would ultimately shatter the skull, causing death. More gruesome is when it was used on parts in the lower half of the body which were rarely fatal, but excruciating.

Judas Cradle

The first of many fixtures on our list of medieval torture devices that shows the fascination of ancient torturers with people’s nether regions. The Judas Cradle (also known as Judas’ Chair) is a massive pyramid that would be inserted into the anus or vagina of the victim, who would then be lowered onto it, stretching them out grotesquely.

Iron Maiden

Not just a rocking metal band, the iron maiden torture device is truly the stuff of nightmares. It was an enclosed structure lined with spikes that would entirely surround a person. They would be left inside for interminable amounts of time, unable to do anything but stand, lest they be pierced by the metal protrusions. You can guess how it might go once the legs started to tire out.

Spanish Donkey

Similar to the Judas Cradle, the Spanish Donkey is a triangular board that a person is forced to straddle, putting their full weight right on the crotch. Weights are then added to their feet until it splits them up the middle. Really makes you wonder what the medieval fascination with vagina torture was…

The Rack

Easily the most famous of medieval torture devices, the rack was used to stretch heretics by pulling on their ankles and wrists, in theory until they rent in half while torturers made a wish. Usually, though, this macabre torture rack just ended up pulling limbs out of sockets, leaving victims to contemplate their sins–whether real or imagined.

Spanish Tickler

Not to be confused with the French Tickler that we’ve all got tucked into the bottom of our sock drawer for anniversaries, this is a set of claws meant to dig into the skin and penetrate down to the bone. It is then yanked away, pulling flesh and muscle with it in great chunks. Obviously, medieval torture methods didn’t have to be overly elaborate to be effective!

Iron Chair

One of the simpler but effective medieval punishments, the iron torture chair pierced a person’s body at every point of contact. These points would go in deep enough to break the skin, but not far enough to damage any vital organs or major arteries. The person wouldn’t even bleed very much, since the chair would plug the wounds until victims were removed.

The Collar

One of the more cruel and unusual punishment examples, the collar was meant to hold the neck in a single position. And, it was tightened just enough to be uncomfortable. The real torture came after days without being able to lay down, rest your head, eat, or swallow.

The Tub

Simple biology was the greatest enemy the tub’s victims. A person was bound hand and foot so they could not escape, then their face was smeared with honey. Flies and other biting insects would be drawn to the person where they would eat the honey and crawl into the openings in the face.

Prisoners tortured in this way were force-fed food and water to keep them alive. As time went on, the person would be left in their own bodily wastes, where maggots would be laid that would eat the person’s body as they decayed, still alive. The agony of such a slow death makes the tub one of the worst torture methods, in our book.

Coffin

Not the traditional coffin where a body is buried, but a simple hanging cage that holds someone aloft. Coffin torture saw birds peck away at the victim, as passersby could beat them or threw things as they saw fit. 

Pillory

There’s several variations on the medieval pillory, of which the stocks is one. A person is put into a wooden frame that binds their head and hands. They’re then left to the mercy of anyone who deigns to abuse them, which often included everyone in town who wasn’t working.

Along with the coffin, the pillory revealed humanity itself as one of the worst torture devices.